Monday, August 22, 2016

Building Your Self Worth

        Now that we are back from the craziness of our wedding and honeymoon I've been thinking a lot about our lives going forward. With all the happiness and optimism of the past few weeks, I suddenly found myself in a funk for no reason.

      At the time I hadn't started my new job, left all my friends and family again, and was coming down from the wedding high. 

     I had no idea what was wrong with me. Why was I not experiencing the newlywed bliss all the time? Why am I so concerned about myself and not us as a couple? Why do I feel like my self worth is at an all time low?

     Don't measure your self worth only by your accomplishments
    If you are anything like me, you are your own toughest critic. I compare myself to others more often than I would like to admit and feel low when I don't feel like I am "on their level." It was when I stopped focusing on what I DO and focused on WHO I AM that I felt my value sky rocket.

    Building self worth takes work
    Hoping you will just snap out of it will not help. I begun to actively work through any self deprecating thoughts. I used to just let negative thoughts take residence in my mind until they were ready to leave. Sitting passively and hoping I'll feel better about myself one day did not work. Little by little I feel my self building up again and it feels amazing.

   You are not self centered for trying to work on yourself
    Like the band Lifehouse (go with me on this) once said, "You gotta love yourself before you can ever love me." Have you ever noticed how your attitude toward others is more negative when you are feeling like crap? If I'm feeling down I am less likely to reach out to friends and family. Going to the gym, journaling, speaking to a professional, etc. are all things that have improved my self worth. You don't need to feel bad about taking time to improve yourself. 

    Respect the process
    I feel like building my self worth is like a sculptor hammering away at marble. It takes time, patience, and persistence. At times I want to give up and just accept my negative thoughts and feelings. Little by little I feel myself building up my confidence and simply respecting myself. I will never be done and big changes cannot happen overnight but over weeks and months I have made strides.

 When two people share their lives, the lines of the couple and the individual can become fuzzy. Working together and working on yourself can only make your relationship stronger. I hope and pray that I continue to build my self worth and that maybe reading this can jumpstart someone else's journey.


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