Friday, May 20, 2016

I am a Military Spouse, I am not America's Sweetheart

   Many times while I've been volunteering on post, I've heard the statement "This is the new Army."

   9 times out of 10 this meant that the Army has gotten "soft" over the years and is not as strong as it used to be. I don't necessarily agree because the world is ever changing and the military must adapt. 

   But then I wondered, "How have spouses changed over the years?" 

   Military spouses are viewed by most people, as women who wait by the window sill for their husband to come home and keep the home fires burning. The media views us as the weeping women at the homecomings who live vicariously through their husband's accomplishments.

   Military spouses have a greater impact on the world now more than ever before. We are much more than "just a spouse".

  Before reading on I highly suggest turning on Elle King's new song "American Sweetheart" 

  I am Driven
 Many military spouses hold down a career, are earning their degree, and earning a living outside of their spouses. Some spouses volunteer over 1,000 hours annually to different military associations like DFMWR. We are not sitting at home making casseroles, we are out in the world making a difference in and out of the military world....but some of us make great casseroles too.

  I am Not "Along for the Ride"
  Traveling the world is one of the positive sides of being a military spouse. I am not just following him around the world blindly. Just like my spouse, I have goals and plans in mind for every place we move. I want to make the most of each and every duty station, no matter how good or bad it may be.

 I am Not Entitled to Anything
   Some may disagree with me on this, but unless you are dual military you did not sign the dotted line. Tricare is not an entitlement. Military discounts are not for us. We know that these things can be taken away at any moment with the wave of Congress's wand. Why anyone would want to marry someone for these things is beyond me.

 I am Still My Own Person
    Is my spouse in the military? Yes. Does that make me a military spouse? Well, yes. But spouses are also nurses, teachers, CEOs, social workers, doctors, etc. If we are considered army, navy, marines, air force and coast guard wives, then our spouses can hold the proud title of social worker's husband or Dentist's husband.

Don't Feel Sorry For Me
    People used to feel sorry for me when my spouse was deployed or at training. I appreciated their support of course but I chose Brandon. I may not have known what it truly meant to love someone in the military when we first met, but I know now. I have found the love of my life and know I have to deal with the bumps in the road that come with that. If I didn't want to deal with the bumps in the road that the military throws at us, then I wouldn't have chose to be with him.





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