Monday, June 5, 2017

"How Do You Marry Someone Who Is Never Around?"

    When writing this post, I tried to think of the one question that I got the most right before I married my husband. 

"Why would you marry someone who is never around?"
"Well...he is around. I mean I wouldn't marry someone who is NEVER there."
"If he is gone for months or even years at a time is it worth it?"

...Is it even worth it?

If I didn't know much about military relationships, I would probably ask the same thing. 

Communication can be even better
Don't all the romance movies tell us that we will want to spend every waking moment with the loves of our lives? We would go on endless dates, and just enjoy your spouse's company 24/7. We think that constant communication and contact is what we need for our marriages to thrive.

Relationships survive or die by communication. However, communication does not mean having to talk constantly or being with one another all the time. Many spouses have felt their relationships grow stronger during periods apart. 

My husband and I learned a lot about each other when he deployed. We didn't talk every day and would sometimes go days without even so much as a text. However, our conversations were so much richer because we never ran out of things to talk about. You can cram a ton of info into a 15-minute phone call if you try!

You have a lot to learn....about yourself
 I sometimes feel more inclined to spend a lot of my free time with my husband when he is home. A lot of people become so engrossed in their relationships that they lose their sense of self. We want to spend time with the ones we love.

Our spouses are gone frequently and because of that, we are able to explore more about ourselves. 

 I fell in love with the gym while my husband was gone for a month. At first, it was a place for me to just clear my head. Now, it is something I need to do almost every day.

Being more in touch with yourself and what you love can make your relationship even stronger. We are always growing and changing no matter what. Positive changes in ourselves, lead to positive changes in our matter the distance.

- - - - - - - - - 

Yes, my husband is gone often. I can be hard, but every marriage is a challenge. Having a third entity in your relationship that tells you where you live, how long you'll live there, etc. etc. can be difficult. However, a journey as crazy as the one we are on has strengthened individually and as a couple. 

Being apart from one another does not mean that my world falls apart. There will be challenges in marriages that are harder than distance and time spent apart. Why not take this time apart and make it something positive? This inconvenience can become an opportunity an even stronger, more loving and more fulfilling marriage.



  1. Replies
    1. I think all of us have gotten this question!

  2. Great post! I have a few friends in similar situations and they would agree with everything you've said!


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