If you want to learn a lot about accepting the things you cannot change...marry someone in the military.
I don't want this to seem like waiting to find out where in the world you are going next can feel like a thousand years, but sometimes it does. In a world where Uber can deliver your food (but not where you're stationed obviously) and Amazon can overnight bed sheets and cereal to you if need be, we've become accustomed to convenience. We expect results and answers faster than ever before and if that doesn't happen....we panic.
I used to make the excuse that I grew up in the New York Metropolitan area where everyone moved a thousand miles a second. If you were five minutes early you were late and I have definitely nearly mowed people down trying to make a train. However, I now realize my excuses are useless and there is no way everyone I grew up with is running around like their hair is on fire.
We have currently been waiting for my husband's orders to our next post since the end of July. We are scheduled to leave at the end of October....and there is no timeline in place. Would I call this a lack of communication and organization among those in charge? I mean sure, I could probably call them many things but will it change the outcome? Not one bit.
Not only will it make me look like a fool to continue whining and complaining but, to put it bluntly, the Army does not care what I think at all. I am a dependent, I am not a necessary component of the mission. Do I support my husband? Yes. But can a shoot a howitzer if the enemy is coming near while in Afghanistan? No...also I'd be terrified. It doesn't matter where I want to be, it matters where they need my husband.
Instead of looking at how other people are causing these problems in my life, I need to realize that the ONLY thing I can control is how I react. In a way, I am relinquishing the burden of staying up at night wondering the ifs and whens of what will happen next for us. There are no guarantees that I will know his orders tomorrow, next week or even next month. We have precious time left where we currently are and there is so much we still have left to see and do. I don't want to remember my final fleeting moments here being sad, scared and anxious.
My power and control will have nothing to do with where we go next or when we find out. I can make a conscious decision to allow myself to acknowledge what I'm feeling, but not let it control me. We will all eventually leave where we are now and odds are will not return. We cannot allow the stress of this life around us to hinder our joy and stop us from enjoying where we are.
The orders will come and with it the stress of moving again. But it will happen and until then, enjoy what time you do have left.