Tuesday, September 4, 2018

5 Ways Military Spouses Crush Their Goals

I hate working out.

Guess where I work? At a gym.

Seems normal enough right?

I soon realized in my mid-twenties that I was starting to feel lethargic, weak and overall like a pile of crap. I've gone to gyms on and off for a few years but I wasn't necessarily motivated to go until my husband left on deployment.

I decided to start working out so I didn't have to go home to an empty house right after work. What first became something I did to fill my time so I wouldn't be insanely lonely, became something much more. It not only helped my physical and mental state, but game me a different perspective

For reason it felt easier to go to the gym while my husband was gone. I felt this weird sense of guilt  while he was home. While this doesn't make sense, I know I am not the only one who feels this way.

Have you ever felt that you frequently put your spouse's goals before your own? Do you sometimes put aside your own goals for the sake of your spouse's ambitions? 

I have had conversations with my friends about this exact thing! We could be killing it in our own lives and crushing our own goals but we feel it pales in comparison to what our spouse does. We could be pursuing a second masters degree, getting a raise, not completely losing it on our kids and still we feel inadequate.

Supporting your spouse is not the same as taking their accomplishments as your own. Yes, we all know spouses who do this. Do I find it odd? Yes. But when you lose yourself in what your spouse's job is instead of your own job, what other choice do you have?

Here is how you can take YOUR ideas, dreams, goals, etc. and make them a reality.

1. Know your "Why".
Doing something just because you felt like it. Here's the thing about feelings, they don't last long. You need to sit down and really know the reasoning behind what you are doing. Get honest with yourself and be as specific as possible.

I wanted to work out because I felt my body was becoming weaker and I wanted to be able to live a long healthy life while not being limited by my own body. I wanted to run for more than a mile and not get winded. I wanted to lift weights and see my muscles become stronger.

I wanted to prove to myself that I could accomplish something for myself and by myself.

2. Discipline 
One of my good friends Brittany just recently ran her first marathon. She was out in the Oklahoma heat every single day running for miles. As someone who considers a 5k to be torture, I soon realized what made her different from me when it came to running. Brittany had the discipline to get up and run knowing that the marathon was going to be at the end of this training.

Crossing the finish line was going to be worth the hours and the miles she put in. The pain was temporary, the soreness would not last forever

Motivation will eventually run out. Discipline is what pushes you to do the boring stuff, the uncomfortable stuff, and the downright scary stuff.

3. Get Organized
I would say that until about two years ago, I could not be bothered with organizing or planning out my goals.

Personally, I need to write everything down or else I will forget it. It could be a doctor's appointment or some amazing blog post idea I came up with in the shower. I have the attention span of a goldfish, so writing it out is the only way that works.

To stay organized on my goals I use a planner for my work and a separate notebook for fitness goals and all my workouts. Separating the two has also helped me stay focused.

I got my planner from Plum Paper Planner and I cannot say enough good things!

4. Accountability is key
There are two reasons I have a trainer. I needed someone to make sure my form was correct and also make sure I showed up to the gym.

I hate hate haaattteee using clichés, but I truly believe that no man is an island. Have someone who you trust and who can be honest with you when it comes to accountability. This check-in could be a phone call, a text, a smoke signal or whatever works best your you.

5. The smallest goals can have the biggest impact
Want to end up running a marathon like Brittany did? You can't just get up off your couch and run 26.2 miles. You have to work up to it.

Tasks can look extremely daunting if you do not break them down. I prefer to make smaller monthly goals with the ultimate goal in mind. I also find that my goals evolve and change regularly, so once a month is much more feasible for me.

I hope this post helps you focus on attaining your achievements in a different way!

Do you have any goal crushing tips? Leave a Comment Below!


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