Sunday, July 16, 2017

Stop Blaming The Military For Your Problems


     When I first came up with the title of this post I thought to myself, "Is this too harsh? I mean I have been sent to a pretty crappy places courtesy of the Army." Then I remembered that I needed to write this as much for myself as I do for others.

      I get it. The military has more control in your life and your relationship than you would like. If you are anything like me you find it a lot easier to blame everything on the fact that your spouse signed their name on the dotted line. But I didn't....so why do I have to go to a horrible base in the middle of nowhere?

      No one made you marry your spouse...at least I hope not. We have the ability to make our own decisions and we live with the consequences of that for better or worse. 

"That is great Maddy, but it wasn't my decision to get sent to Fort Polk and have my husband deploy while I am pregnant."

    In life, we are often faced with things beyond our control. Just like how someone didn't make the decision to be diagnosed with cancer or lose a job, we can't get angry just because things didn't go our way. Unlike most relationships, there is a prominent third entity that influences nearly every aspect of our lives that has a mission to accomplish.

 We cannot control what the military wants to do, we can only control how we react to it.

    I have thrown myself multiple one woman pity parties because of unexpected trainings, deployments, but it solved NOTHING. I felt a bit stupid after a while since I wasn't even the one in the field. I was cozied up in bed with a glass of white and netflix, while my husband was eating an MRE and the bugs were eating him. 

     When he was in Afghanistan, he was going through his first deployment, WE were not going through our first deployment. I was home with my friends and family while he was on a FOB (forward operating base) eating canned goods I sent him. Did I miss him? Absolutely. Was I mad at the military for sending him there? Sure was.

       Here is the thing about jobs....you have to do them. The goal of the military is to protect and defend the United States and its allies....we've heard it a thousand times.

       If you would like a more dramatic explanation , Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men does a great job of this, "I have neither the time,or the inclination, to explain myself to a man, who rises and sleep under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner, in which I provide it.I'd rather you just say 'thank you' and go on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn, what you think you are entitled to!"

     I didn't join the Army, my husband did and I was well aware of that before I met him. In the military life and life in general, there are very few cake walks. It can be hard and you might feel like the military is more important than your relationship at times. 

     The military journey will eventually come to an end. I would much rather look back at how much we grew, the places we visited, and the obstacles we overcame. I do not want to look back and think, "I had an awful experience because of my bad attitude." 
















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