Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Being Cautious with Advice in Military Life

   I understand the blatant irony of this post. I write about military life and relationships. I like to give a perspective and advice to people who have experienced similar things to myself.

   BUT I am nowhere near an expert when it comes to eh about 85% of military life. The most obvious reason would be that I myself do not serve, my husband does. The less obvious is that although the military community is tiny, it is a vastly different experience from person to person.

   I have loved duty stations that others have loathed and I have not understood the desire to live OCONUS while others adore living abroad.

  The great thing and the bad thing about the military community you see online is that we have all had different experiences. No one can truly tell you what to expect if you get stationed at Ft.Hood or Twentynine Palms. They are one person and have had one experience. Their likes and dislikes are not the same as yours and their personalities could be the opposite of you.

   Do not set your expectations based on one person's viewpoint. 

   It will hinder your experiences and make you think either you are wrong or they are crazy.

   I have met so many awesome people who are totally opposite of me and it has been one of the highlights of moving around in the military. I have also met people that have given me AWFUL advice. An example of this is, "I don't bother making friends with other wives they are all drama." or "I don't get involved in anything, it is a waste of time."

   You know what is even worse?

   I LISTENED TO THEM FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS. I now realize how truly dumb I was to just take their advice as gospel.

   I say this as someone who truly hopes and prays that everyone enjoys this crazy life and makes the most of it.....use the utmost discretion when listening to others advice...even mine. You are your own person and at the end of the day, you know what is best for your relationship and your life.

   We all need different things and respond differently to challenges and successes in life. I can tell you deployments are not bad while someone else can tell you it nearly ended their marriage.

   Perspective is a great thing but so is making sure it doesn't cloud what you think or how you feel.


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