Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Yes, It Is Normal To Be Nervous About Homecoming

You've been waiting for this date for MONTHS. The distance, dropped calls, communication blackouts and loneliness are coming to an end.

So why on earth are you nervous about homecoming?

You think "What is wrong with me?"

Absolutely nothing.

I was so excited to have my husband come home. I waited for what felt like forever just to be able to have him by my side! But, there was this nagging feeling I could not shake. At the end of my husband's first deployment, I remember feeling anxiety and I felt guilty for it.

I was anxious about being anxious!

Turns out I am was not alone. Think of it this way, you've been on your own time for almost a year.

Your home was once a shared space, then it felt like it was just your place. You've slept in the center of your bed for months. You have your schedule, your routine and all of that is about to change. Your mind has gotten used to the fact that you've pretty much done it on your own.

A report by the National Council on Family Relations finds reintegration to be a sometimes difficult time.

"[Researchers] found the following challenges expressed by spouses related to reintegration:
               1. Fitting the deployed spouse back into the home routine;
               2. Rebalancing child responsibilities;
               3. Getting to know the deployed spouse again;
               4. Worrying about the next deployment;
               5. Dealing with the deployed spouse's mood changes;
               6. Deciding who to turn to for advice."

I love routines. I love knowing what is going to happen. Reintegration throws schedules and plans completely out of whack. It can be uncomfortable and weird at first.

But please know that you are not alone. Every single couple experiences reintegration differently. Some people can deal with the change seamlessly, while others struggle for months. 

One of the best resources I can recommend are the Military Family Life Counselors (MFLC). They are confidential and free! They offer non-medical counseling and are available at nearly every military base. Click Here for more info on MFLCs and to find one near you.

Homecoming is a super special time! I remember seeing my husband for the first time after nine months and feeling the world stop. The distance is absolutely worth it!


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