Yes, It Is Normal To Be Nervous About Homecoming

You've been waiting for this date for MONTHS. The distance, dropped calls, communication blackouts and loneliness are coming to an end.

So why on earth are you nervous about homecoming?

You think "What is wrong with me?"

Absolutely nothing.

I was so excited to have my husband come home. I waited for what felt like forever just to be able to have him by my side! But, there was this nagging feeling I could not shake. At the end of my husband's first deployment, I remember feeling anxiety and I felt guilty for it.

I was anxious about being anxious!

Turns out I am was not alone. Think of it this way, you've been on your own time for almost a year.

Your home was once a shared space, then it felt like it was just your place. You've slept in the center of your bed for months. You have your schedule, your routine and all of that is about to change. Your mind has gotten used to the fact that you've pretty much done it on your own.

A report by the National Council on Family Relations finds reintegration to be a sometimes difficult time.

"[Researchers] found the following challenges expressed by spouses related to reintegration:
               1. Fitting the deployed spouse back into the home routine;
               2. Rebalancing child responsibilities;
               3. Getting to know the deployed spouse again;
               4. Worrying about the next deployment;
               5. Dealing with the deployed spouse's mood changes;
               6. Deciding who to turn to for advice."

I love routines. I love knowing what is going to happen. Reintegration throws schedules and plans completely out of whack. It can be uncomfortable and weird at first.

But please know that you are not alone. Every single couple experiences reintegration differently. Some people can deal with the change seamlessly, while others struggle for months. 

One of the best resources I can recommend are the Military Family Life Counselors (MFLC). They are confidential and free! They offer non-medical counseling and are available at nearly every military base. Click Here for more info on MFLCs and to find one near you.

Homecoming is a super special time! I remember seeing my husband for the first time after nine months and feeling the world stop. The distance is absolutely worth it!

The #1 Thing Not To Do Before Homecoming

The distance is FINALLY coming to an end! You are getting your spouse back after what felt like a lifetime apart.

You know so many people have been asking about when your spouse is coming home.

You decided to let everyone know the date and time they are coming home on Facebook.

Someone saw that you posted the homecoming date, now EVERYONE now has to wait longer to see their spouse. Why? Because you violated OPSEC. Not only do you have to wait to see your spouse, but you just made a lot of people VERY unhappy.

What is OPSEC?
Operational Security is protecting information that could be taken by our adversaries and used to harm our service members. This can include troop movements, deployment dates, homecoming dates, etc.


Why would making a post on my own social media matter?
I once read that a great way to think about OPSEC is like a puzzle. Your post is just a piece of that puzzle but it is an important one. If someone is able to piece together the homecoming dates they are able to piece together massive troop movements which are not something you want enemies to know.

Just because it is on your personal social media does not make it private.

You are using a company's platform, that platform could be hacked at any time. You have no idea who could be getting a hold of that information.

Why would any enemy be interested in what I have to say?
The odds of someone actively looking at your own social media account are slim. However, why would you want to open yourself up to that possibility? You have no idea who is able to look at your information.

According to the OPSEC guide published by the United States Navy, "Terrorist groups have used information gained from the Internet to target family members of deployed military personnel. In countries throughout the Middle East and southern Asia, terrorists have successfully kidnapped and assassinated numerous westerners in an attempt to influence U.S. foreign policy."

While this isn't the norm, this is something you need to be aware of when it comes to the safety and security of your loved ones.

But people are bugging me about when the date is!
What I usually do is give them a time frame. I will say "Oh at some point this winter." or "We are hoping sometime in the next few months."

I will talk about dates and time frames in person to family or a friend, but I do not give out information online ever!

At the end of the day, your spouse's safety is what is most important. Keeping important information safe is what is going to guarantee a seamless homecoming.

Interested in learning more? Check out these posts!

5 Commandments of OPSEC

5 Commandments of PERSEC